Rethinking the 3-3-3 Rule when bringing home a new dog

Problems with the 3-3-3 Rule

3 days to settle in

3 weeks to learn their new routine

3 months to start to feel at home

Sound familiar?

The internet, and countless memes tell us it’s the “perfect formula” to bringing home a new dog, but it overlooks the nuanced behavioral dynamics of dogs. Unlike computers and iPhones, dogs don't follow formulas. They require individualized attention and understanding during the adjustment process. I know this timeline is well intentioned, I mean no disrespect to the hardworking people in shelters and rescue who often use it as a framework to help set potential adopters up for success, as humans we run on schedules and dates. However the rule of threes sets unrealistic expectations which are then passed onto the dog who may fail a test they didn’t know they were taking.

Instead of setting arbitrary timeframes, let's delve into the three (likely) phases of a dog's adjustment to a new home from a behavioral and emotional perspective:

• Decompression Phase:

• Provide a safe, quiet space for the dog to retreat, rest and acclimate to their new environment. They will likely sleep and rest a lot in the beginning.

• Offer food and water without pressure, and limit handling to what the dog initiates.

• Understand that this phase varies in duration, ranging from days to potentially months, especially if the dog is experiencing shutdown behaviors.

• Emphasize humane, positive reinforcement-based interactions and consider researching training programs during this phase.

• Settling In Phase:

• As the initial stress subsides, the dog will begin to display more of their personality and behaviors.

• Be prepared for potential surprises as previously suppressed behaviors may emerge.

• Take proactive steps, increasing management and addressing any behavioral challenges, such as leash pulling, undesirable vocalization or possible separation anxiety, through force free training strategies.

• Recognize these behaviors as signs of progress, indicating that the dog is feeling more secure in their environment.

• Work to keep consistent routines and be a predictable source of good things for your dog.

• I'm Home! Phase:

• This phase signifies a deepening bond and trust between dog and guardian, often occurring several months or even years after adoption.

• By this point, a supportive network may have been established, including trainers, veterinarians, and other dog caregivers.

• Celebrate the achievement of two way trusting relationship built on kindness, understanding, and ongoing learning.

By understanding and respecting the dog's behavioral journey through these phases, guardians can provide the necessary support and guidance for a successful transition into their new home through a more realistic lens.

Melissa is a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer and behavior consultant in Atlanta, GA who works with dogs struggling with separation anxiety worldwide with a variety of virtual training options. If you are struggling with alone time please reach out for help. www.acanineaffinity.com/separationanxiety